According to an article recently released by the Associated Press, Texas college students may soon be allowed to carry concealed weapons on a number of campuses throughout the state. While it is not the purpose of my blog to get on a soap box about the governmental affairs of either Kazakhstan or America (read: prohibited), I can't help but touch on a more general area of interest related to these... political evolutions... being launched down the proverbial democratic pipe.
In short, to be an American living in Kazakhstan is to be the face of an entire nation; of an entire system of conflicting ideologies and overlapping systemic issues; of an entire set of domestic and foreign policy decisions that seem to change according to ebb and flow of the political tides. To be an American living in Kazakhstan is to be inexorably intertwined with the articles, policy decisions, and Hollywood portrayals of our culture that make their way into local news coverage:
"America" invades a country and it might as well be me on the front lines rallying the troops.
"America" decides to cut foreign aid and it might as well be me yanking food away from starving children in Africa.
"America", as depicted by Hollywood, believes all black people are gang members and criminals, and automatically I'm a bigot.
The degree of separation between "America" and me is nil. Zip. Nada. Nothing. We are one in the same, which is why Peace Corps constantly preaches to us, nay, demands from us, that we be careful stewards of the reputation of "America". They say, "The way you conduct yourself is how every other person around you will believe all Americans in our country conduct themselves". And it's completely true. Why? Because most people in Kazakhstan have never met a foreigner, let alone an American. The only information which informs their perspective of us is the information which we give them, either informally through highly biased news coverage, or formally through our local interactions and projects.
"America" and I. Joined at the hip.
Fear not, friends, for I have been a responsible representative of our culture while living abroad. I work hard, I forgive others, and I respect the differences between America and Kazakhstan. I have been a good steward of our reputation.
"America", however, has not been a careful steward of its own reputation, forcing monumental policy decisions through Congress so fast that Lady Democracy is still recovering from whiplash; allowing an egregious amount of pejorative animadversion to enter our national conscience, such that "Republican" and "Democrat" have been reduced to little more than "Whiny Baby 1" and "Whiny Baby 2"; erasing decades of civil rights triumphs in a despicable fusion of interest groups, financial influence, and government acquiescence; and internationally condemning other countries for not upholding justice in a world where we wrote the book on dealing guns and drugs, systematically discriminating against entire classes of people, destroying the environment, reneging on UN treaties, crippling education, and so on and so forth ad nausea.
No, I have not embarrassed "America". "America" has embarrassed me, forcing me to answer questions about the twists and turns, the double-backs and side-steps, and the seedy, complicated under-belly of a machine spun so out of control that recklessness now looks like child's play.
How do you explain calling it a 'right' for a college student to carry a concealed weapon to Economics class?
How do you call it 'democratic' to push legislation through a state government with the deep pockets of the self-serving gun lobby?
How do you even call it 'sane' to allow guns in a place where the most cherished past-time is doing keg stands and lighting your farts on fire?
You can't. You can't answer these questions without getting lost in the mucky muck that is our blind determination to call our country the crowning achievement of the free world, no matter how far we stray from the tenants of democracy that gave birth to our nation over 200 years ago. Some demand a "return to family values" to mend the tattered and frayed edges of our dignity, but I say that even so, we'd still have 9 miles of bad road ahead of us before we even get close to finding what we really need, which is a return to humanity.
To be an American living in Kazakhstan is to be standing on the outside looking in, seeing with one billion megapixel clarity the sad realization that we're the only ones bru-ha-ha-ing about our supposedly unchallenged superiority, all the while fighting like dogs in a race to the bottom; the bottom dollar, the bottom moral line, the bottom standard to still call ourselves human. Knowing that, it's increasingly more difficult to toe the line and join in the red, white, and blue back-patting, so much so that I just have one more thing to add:
Stop breaking my heart America, or I'll have to pretend I'm Canadian.
In short, to be an American living in Kazakhstan is to be the face of an entire nation; of an entire system of conflicting ideologies and overlapping systemic issues; of an entire set of domestic and foreign policy decisions that seem to change according to ebb and flow of the political tides. To be an American living in Kazakhstan is to be inexorably intertwined with the articles, policy decisions, and Hollywood portrayals of our culture that make their way into local news coverage:
"America" invades a country and it might as well be me on the front lines rallying the troops.
"America" decides to cut foreign aid and it might as well be me yanking food away from starving children in Africa.
"America", as depicted by Hollywood, believes all black people are gang members and criminals, and automatically I'm a bigot.
The degree of separation between "America" and me is nil. Zip. Nada. Nothing. We are one in the same, which is why Peace Corps constantly preaches to us, nay, demands from us, that we be careful stewards of the reputation of "America". They say, "The way you conduct yourself is how every other person around you will believe all Americans in our country conduct themselves". And it's completely true. Why? Because most people in Kazakhstan have never met a foreigner, let alone an American. The only information which informs their perspective of us is the information which we give them, either informally through highly biased news coverage, or formally through our local interactions and projects.
"America" and I. Joined at the hip.
Fear not, friends, for I have been a responsible representative of our culture while living abroad. I work hard, I forgive others, and I respect the differences between America and Kazakhstan. I have been a good steward of our reputation.
"America", however, has not been a careful steward of its own reputation, forcing monumental policy decisions through Congress so fast that Lady Democracy is still recovering from whiplash; allowing an egregious amount of pejorative animadversion to enter our national conscience, such that "Republican" and "Democrat" have been reduced to little more than "Whiny Baby 1" and "Whiny Baby 2"; erasing decades of civil rights triumphs in a despicable fusion of interest groups, financial influence, and government acquiescence; and internationally condemning other countries for not upholding justice in a world where we wrote the book on dealing guns and drugs, systematically discriminating against entire classes of people, destroying the environment, reneging on UN treaties, crippling education, and so on and so forth ad nausea.
No, I have not embarrassed "America". "America" has embarrassed me, forcing me to answer questions about the twists and turns, the double-backs and side-steps, and the seedy, complicated under-belly of a machine spun so out of control that recklessness now looks like child's play.
How do you explain calling it a 'right' for a college student to carry a concealed weapon to Economics class?
How do you call it 'democratic' to push legislation through a state government with the deep pockets of the self-serving gun lobby?
How do you even call it 'sane' to allow guns in a place where the most cherished past-time is doing keg stands and lighting your farts on fire?
You can't. You can't answer these questions without getting lost in the mucky muck that is our blind determination to call our country the crowning achievement of the free world, no matter how far we stray from the tenants of democracy that gave birth to our nation over 200 years ago. Some demand a "return to family values" to mend the tattered and frayed edges of our dignity, but I say that even so, we'd still have 9 miles of bad road ahead of us before we even get close to finding what we really need, which is a return to humanity.
To be an American living in Kazakhstan is to be standing on the outside looking in, seeing with one billion megapixel clarity the sad realization that we're the only ones bru-ha-ha-ing about our supposedly unchallenged superiority, all the while fighting like dogs in a race to the bottom; the bottom dollar, the bottom moral line, the bottom standard to still call ourselves human. Knowing that, it's increasingly more difficult to toe the line and join in the red, white, and blue back-patting, so much so that I just have one more thing to add:
Stop breaking my heart America, or I'll have to pretend I'm Canadian.
Hilary, you are just too awesome. One day, I'm going to make you Dictator of the Universe. And I'll be your Number Two.
ReplyDeleteHilary, When you come to this country as an immigrant first, and are practically an outsider until you can master the behavior and mannerisms of "what it means to be American," you already know how people from other countries could view the U.S. as a contradictory, stuck up, and clueless place. Everyday we blast images and soundbites of just how inhumane we have become. What is more, no one who has the capability to change this, wants to. The bottom line is to make as much money as possible no matter the cost to one's dignity. I can also speak from the perspective of someone who is of color, whose image in America is distorted beyond recognition at times. These images not only help to bring down my value as a contributing citizen in America, but also overseas in areas that have no other image to counteract what America displays on T.V. Amen to the fact that you realize how biased our networks are. MANY people still think they are listening to legitimate unbiased news. Bless their hearts. Hope all is well with you in Kazakhstan
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