On July 4, 5, and 6, Kazakhstan celebrated The Day of The Capital, which also happens to be President Nazarbayev's birthday (if you read the document you will see that this is not a coincidence). Because of my attendance at the July 4 Independence Day activities at the American Embassy, in addition to other work obligations, I had the opportunity to spend pretty much all of last week in Astana as the city erupted in street parties, festivals, parades, and ceremonies.
As it is my MO to dwell in (an ever-growing sense of) nostalgia pre-big-impending-transitions, I allowed myself the chance to really exist in these encapsulated perfect moments in time, where the reality and memories of my adventure here met the realization of how much this place has changed me. I remember sitting in a sky bar with friends, overlooking the entire city of Astana, its twinkling lights and ultra-modern buildings providing a surreal backdrop to our conversation, and thinking that no matter how hard I try to put words around this experience; try to give it context for your understanding; try to break it down or build it up into something that is easily presented; nothing comes to the surface except superficial manifestations- actions, reactions, tales, failures, successes, memories- of an intrinsic feeling that is like a whispered secret between all the versions of me that have existed and formed and re-formed in my life here.
What I'm trying to say is this- I left the United States as one person, and I'm coming back another, and I will likely journey to the dark and dusty fringes of forever, trying to explain the difference therein. As high as the highs were, and as low as the lows were (sorry blogworld, I never afforded you a glimpse into that madness), I can say with absolute certainty standing here on the tail end of it all, that I got exactly what I wanted when I made the decision to graduate a year early and pursue this endeavor. I hope that in your life too, you find yourself in your own perfect moment in time, when you realize that you have it all**, and that you made out like a bandit in the life department.
As it is my MO to dwell in (an ever-growing sense of) nostalgia pre-big-impending-transitions, I allowed myself the chance to really exist in these encapsulated perfect moments in time, where the reality and memories of my adventure here met the realization of how much this place has changed me. I remember sitting in a sky bar with friends, overlooking the entire city of Astana, its twinkling lights and ultra-modern buildings providing a surreal backdrop to our conversation, and thinking that no matter how hard I try to put words around this experience; try to give it context for your understanding; try to break it down or build it up into something that is easily presented; nothing comes to the surface except superficial manifestations- actions, reactions, tales, failures, successes, memories- of an intrinsic feeling that is like a whispered secret between all the versions of me that have existed and formed and re-formed in my life here.
What I'm trying to say is this- I left the United States as one person, and I'm coming back another, and I will likely journey to the dark and dusty fringes of forever, trying to explain the difference therein. As high as the highs were, and as low as the lows were (sorry blogworld, I never afforded you a glimpse into that madness), I can say with absolute certainty standing here on the tail end of it all, that I got exactly what I wanted when I made the decision to graduate a year early and pursue this endeavor. I hope that in your life too, you find yourself in your own perfect moment in time, when you realize that you have it all**, and that you made out like a bandit in the life department.
**clarification on 'all' to come soon in another post.
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